Bless The Broken Road
by calleighstorres
Summary: Having finally left an emotionally abusive relationship, Ryan wonders if love does exist after all that. CaRWash. Implied EricNatalia. Spoilers for 3x03 & 4x08. Mentions of abuse.


**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI :P / Based on the song 'Bless The Broken Road'.**

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_'Cause God bless the broken road, _

_that led me straight to you._

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Ryan had always been one to question the way he felt. Why he felt the way he did. And how he handled the emotions he refused to face. He was one of those people that preferred not to talk about his past, or relationships. Things hadn't been easy and the only way he dealt with that was simple; working overtime.

It wasn't all the time he worked double shifts, or overtime, it usually depended on his mood or if he had work that needed to be done. Investigations weren't quick processes. Ryan had never really been too sociable. He would rather a small gathering than a a random party in a nightclub. His most recent relationship had gone down the drain. After three weeks of none stop arguing that drove him insane, she cheated on him with some Detective he didn't even know the name of. And he didn't care. That had been the final straw and he was done with his ex.

He didn't date someone twice. If it didn't work, he never went there again. Like taking mental notes, he knew when to quit. And his heart was tough to get to. Everybody knew he had secrets. He had walls that he kept up to keep people from asking questions he didn't want to answer. You could say, he didn't really feel understood.

Sure, he had girls flirting with him from time to time but he was never interested. They were always flaunting their bodies in ways that put him off completely. Ryan's type was more sophisticated. He was into blondes. Blondes that liked science, knew how to be classy and understood what it was like to be a police officer. None of his ex girlfriends got that. Which is why they would never be the right person for him. He'd given up on love. To Ryan, love didn't exist. He was completely sure that his personal life, was just his work life.

Since being shot, he had thought his life over. Consciously. Trying to understand where he went wrong. Why things never went the way he hoped they would. It was either he hurt someone, or someone got hurt. There was never a latter. It was always a one or the other situation. Usually, he got hurt. But he thought it was better that way, without him putting anyone in jeopardy.

There was one person who he would apologise to a million times over if he could. The amount of times he'd let her down was too much for him to bear himself, yet, it never really seemed to be over.. if he knew how to explain that.

Here he was, sitting at a booth in a bar, swirling his drink around like it's going to make him realise something. That wasn't what alcohol was for. It was for the opposite. To forget why you were ever feeling that way in the first place, and somehow, not even all the beer in the world would change his mind. He'd thought of resignation. Once. But then he convinced himself it was a stupid idea. He needed an income and he needed to do something that was worth his time. Being a CSI was worth working hard for.

He saw his colleagues conversing at the drinks bar. Natalia and Eric were in deep conversation about something, whereas some guy was shooting his shot with the no nonsense, strong willed Calleigh Duquesne. Ryan knew his fate. Calleigh was a real flirt, but it was purely a natural act she had with everybody. She was everything the bimbos standing on stage envied. It was one of the things that had drawn him to her at that seminar. Her aura. The cheerful tone in her voice. She was perfect, beyond her own wounds.

Wolfe was nowhere near perfect. That was the fine difference between him and Calleigh.

He necked the rest of his beer and put down the empty bottle, sighing to himself. The alcohol never really did change a thing. Ryan was missing something. Someone. In his life. The gap was out of shape. Like even his heart didn't know what he wanted. Which was no surprise for someone who didn't believe in love.

During the musing, he didn't noticed a set of eyes on him. The blonde standing beside the bar had noticed the man sitting in the corner booth, barely touch his drink until he downed it all. Ryan looked bothered. She knew that he'd been having some relationship issues, but, she had never really had the courage to ask him about it. "Anyone notice how off Wolfe seems?" It was Eric's question that made her want to find out. "Yeah, it's been like that for the while. Did anyone notice the bandage on his arm?" Natalia added. Calleigh sighed, staring at the lost man in the booth.

"I'm going to go over there, see you guys later?"

"See ya Calleigh!" they both replied unusually in unison.

The southerner silently chuckled at their confusion as she made her way over to the corner booth. "Can I join you?" Ryan looked up at her. "Sure." he said, moving to another seat and allowing her to sit with him. "How have you been? You've been in court a lot this week." Ryan nodded. "I was getting a restraining order." _Restraining order? That explains it. Those take time. _

"Do you mind me asking who against?"

Ryan shook his head and let out a deep breath. "My ex, she's been harassing me. Wrecking my car, breaking my door, almost stabbing me with a knife..." she nodded, finally getting the jist of what he was on about. An abusive relationship. That explained the bandage. "Why didn't you say anything before? You know you can come to me about anything that you want to talk about?" Ryan wasn't sure what to say to that. He had never been a very open person about his feelings.

"I know, I know.. I just- hoped that it would go away. That the arguing would be over. But that bitch had been out sleeping around with the first guy she came across instead of trying to make things work.. then she got mad because I dumped her. It's so fucking messed up." The younger man stammered, in awe of how that had come out. Calleigh didn't judge. He was obviously hurting; broken hearted. "You have a broken heart. I get it." He was afraid of loving again. That was his real problem.

The blonde felt an instant pang of guilt for not recognising his inconsistency with his usual humour, or occasional sarcastic remarks. For not seeing through his façade. Pretending that he was fine, when he wasn't. Which is why he did change the conversation after a few minutes of tense silence.

"Saw that guy try to chat you up earlier, did he fail?"

"He was a lawyer. I hate _lawyers."_ she said, shuddering at the thought. "Lawyers and cops don't mix - it's like adding an alikali metal to H²0 and not expecting a reaction." Calleigh couldn't help but smile at his scientific reference. He had to. Be that bit funnier. Find a way of cheering her up from her own uneventful evening when it was supposed to be the other way around.

"You know, Calleigh," "What?" she questioned, still smiling. "-I had no idea that it would feel so good to finally get that off my chest.. thank you." The southern blonde shook her head and placed a gentle hand on his. "Thank you for always cheering me up. You are an amazing guy, and one day, the right girl will be there waiting for you. Because you deserve perfect." "Ahh, maybe." he said, his eyes glancing at their hands.

She softly squeezed his hand. "You'll be okay. Let's go for a walk, shall we?" "I know.. and, I'm down." Both CSIs got up and left the booth, walking out the bar together, arm in arm. Whatever the situation, they had each other to go to. It was no easy road recovering from what he had been through, however, Calleigh knew he would let her in when he was ready.

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**GOD BLESS THE BROKEN ROAD. **


End file.
